I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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