Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
