very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
