I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
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Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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