the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
