no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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