ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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