You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
