vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
two words: eviction party
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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