I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
