So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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