his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
