just tell him i said nine months
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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