"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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