there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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