Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
