Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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