I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
