As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
