Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
