Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
