the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
