If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
