You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
