At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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