He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
