Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
