he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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