the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just cut my nipple shaving
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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