forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
