Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
