I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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