If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
