Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
farters have to be the big spoon...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
