I'm eating all of the evidence.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
