she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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