You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I cannot find my penis.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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