his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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