Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
