Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
