at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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