Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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