Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
