You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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