We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
