You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize