i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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