I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
