I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
what the fuck happened to the tacos
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
