Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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