he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
