i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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