it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
