I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
