There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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