yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
