it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
