hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
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I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
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I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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