What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
