One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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