People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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