Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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