There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
