Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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