this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
