I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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