I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
