Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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