so explain again why im purple
no
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
