Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
