Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
